You might think that I couldn't possibly understand, but I do .....
You might think I couldn't possibly understand, but the truth is I do.
I've been you. In fact, the girl on the left could be you right this very moment. Maybe not in every single aspect, but quite likely in one capacity or another when it comes to food, exercise & body image.
And, I want to take a second to tell you that there is nothing wrong with her. There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are enough and you are wonderful just as you are.
But, I also want to tell you that if you do really want to change, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either & that despite what you might think, you CAN DO IT!!
I've not always been this confident, this strong, this secure in myself or my body. I've not always loved myself. Heck, I haven't even always liked myself.
I've not always felt this balanced and in control of food, workouts or body image issues. In fact, the girl on the left didn't go out because clothes didn't fit right & has sat in her closet, on more than one occasion & cried because she couldn't figure out what to do next. The girl on the left feared food, was disgusted by her body & her inability to be stronger & perfect. She deemed herself a failure. The girl on the left punished herself with exercise for eating things 'bad & wrong'. She let guilt over food, one of life's greatest pleasures, control much of her life.
Diet, lose weight, gain it back. Find a new craze, diet again, gain it back and on and on. THE ENDLESS CYCLE. I've let numbers and dates and sizes control my life. I've let the scale dictate what kind of day or week I was going to have. I've fought with myself and my body daily. Thoughts like I should starve myself & if I eat like a bird that'll surely be the answer.
I've been uncomfortable and insecure walking into the gym, not knowing what to do, or how to do it, comparing myself to every other girl there. So, I stuck to cardio, endless & endless amounts of cardio. The girl on the left ran for miles 6 to 7 days a week.
Then 7 years ago, something changed. I can't describe what or how or even why, other than I was fed up. I couldn't understand how other people could achieve their ideal body and keep it yet I was stuck in this cycle. 7 years of not quitting despite the many ups and downs has brought me to where I am right in this moment. And, let me tell you, I've had my fair share of ups and downs. My husband always tells me that I am very resilient because most people would of quit long ago. But, I kept going regardless of lack of results, gaining weight for no apparent reason, scale numbers, a 2 year reverse dieting process & so on.
I became a personal trainer & nutrition coach for all the reasons listed above. I want to empower other women and help them understand that things don't have to be this way. Things don't have to be so damn complicated, overwhelming and perfect.
The girl on the left has changed drastically & not only physically. The physical differences are obvious. I'm leaner for sure, my body composition is totally different. I carry more muscle & a lot less fat, although it is worth noting that the difference between the 2 pictures is only 7lbs. 7lbs in 7 years. When I talk about the change here though, I mean the mental & emotional changes that have taken place. The confidence, the strength, the belief, the positivity, the determination. The freakin' hard work!!
So I wrote this blog today, to let you know that I get it & not only do I get it but I've been there. Just so you know though, it doesn't have to be so complicated. You don't have to do everything at once. Small steps. This is for life, so why the rush!?! If I can do it, so can you. But, not only can you do it, I believe in you 100%. Take the leap, go after what you want. It's hard work & you should be prepared for that but you only fail if you quit trying. The more you try, the more you learn. Isn't it time you found out what you are capable of?
Until next time,